^^ I DID ITTTTT I ADDED AN IMAGE

4/20

hehe funny day. i wanted 2 hang out w A, but zhez buzy celebrating the homelezz guyz bday. didnt know zhe knew him zo i azked if they were budz n zhe got all quiet

4/23

waz my bozz' bday few hourz ago. didnt zhow up i HATE HER ZM and cuz i waz hanging out w my new friend (who ill call Y). zhe livez in a vv pretty van, like itz zo different from what i expected!! zhe drezzez p bazic zo i didnt expect to ztep into a whole WEDDING zcene!!!111!1!1 like itz all white n pretty liek woah. but i found zmt lowkey weird while Y went 2 get zmt:: a white book w some pretty cute lace on it. didnt have any writing on the cover or the zidez or the back. i felt it- v heavy. the moment ended and Y waz back. zhe YOINKED it from me and in retrozpect ya i zhouldnt have touched zomeone elzez belongingz... i ztill feel it on my handz even after the hourz pazzed

ANYWAYZ look at thiz weird letter i got XD

4/25

i had the ztrangezt dream lazt night

i waz holding that book Y had in her van. i zwear i could feel itz weight on my handz even in the dream. thiz time tho it had like zome weird prezence to it? an air of importance. i heard alot of voicez in the bg, zome i recognize zome i dont even know. couldnt tell what ANY of them were zaying n eventually i zort of zone out..? im not reading anymore, juzt ztaring at the colorz of ink the wordz r written in: blue, red, green, purple blah blah blah. everything getz darker. not liek pitch black, not even like a power outage. like idk, the cloudz cover the zun more than uzual. but there iznt any cloudz, the zunz out, and im p zure dream me waz inzide. i had a bit of zome breathing difficultiez and thought it waz cuz of azthma. i flip through the bookz pagez again except the wordz are gone. the voicez in the bg go totally zilent and i feel zomething behind me.

dunno how 2 dezc the feel.... ztare at the wordz, future icy, dont let your eyez get off the webpage. imagine itz juzt beyond your peripheral NO no maybe in front of u? but you cant see it. its quietly closing in on you but dont look away.

don't look away

i didn't

of course i fucking looked. i zlammed the book zhut and i turned my head only to hear a znap and have the dream end

thatz zome creepy ztuff but idk i played fnaf b4 i znoozed and i hadnt gotten much zleep lul ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i made my coworkerz zome kandi az a way 2 butter em up 2 b my friendz zo i will upd8 on that tomorrow!

4/26

think they liked it!!!!!! not 2 brag but im pretty good at making kandi. A1 iz rllyrlly cool idk why pazt me waz zo worried abt him. i mean yeah, he makez me look like a fluffing soyjak in comparizon to him but thatz it. i think him and P know each other ZUPER well! azked P abt it, zaid they talked a lot, ztopped and are back at it. i azked why they ztopped and P zwitched topicz. cant b that bad? keeping zecretz from me huh?

4/27

ugh thiz band iz zo good.. got another zuz letter? lern Tu zpel eighty-yacht no eyed deer who itz from but omg im not leaving the ztation i lit cant go anywhere elze and if i DO it haz to have good wifi

5/3

Y got a new look! zhez zo pretti :3 zhe called me at liek 3am :p wantz me to vizit her. i wouldnt normally go stop by thiz early but Y'z a good friend. pluz my online zchool hw iz zumwut done cuz rite after i zigned up i waz lik "ill ztart zhowing up 2 callz the next day" and nevr did. not bringing ur kidz 2 zchool iz illegal i think but thiz town iz oddly lenient :/

i wonder what zhe wantz from me

6/1

the weight on my handz finally left

my birthday iz in two dayz, zo an early gift iz zwaggerz :3 4got to upd8 for a month whoopz.. after lazt entry Y ripped out a few pages of her book 2 give to me. zaid zhe haz them copied in another book? lol wow talk abt dedication. weird but when i read the paperz, the weight on my handz dizappeared. not complaining thooooo :v what waz on em waz zome weirdly zpecific ztuff on random ppl. Y doeznt know any1z name zo theyre labelled az "the buzinezzman" or "the mary zue" (doez zhe not know A'z name..???). i think hcing real ppl iz weird but ig zhe can do what zhe wantz. zhe thinkz zhe knowz who zent thoze weird letterz, but he wouldnt. zure he doez bad ztuff but he wouldnt do that zorta thing.

6/3

he would do that zorta thing

firzt thing i zee otw to my bday party iz him w a dead raccoon in hiz handz. firzt off we have raccoonz here? zecond off what the fuck. but anywayz, my bday iz at R'z! we're having a zleepover. Y'z weird hc thingiez haz zmt abt bearz n R'z repulzive brother but the rezt iz zcribbled out, zo i figured Y'z hc of him iz that he likez bears. told him a bear joke and i got a weird look and Y dragged me 2 R'z room. they zang me happy birthday -- too mainztream!!1!!11!

6/5

P haz a twin?

ive zeen her around b4. lookz liek P but w pigtailz and fem, pluz an annoyingly high voice kinda like dizcord kittenz...... ahhh memoriez. zo glad i ditched that dizc acc. ANYWAYZ zo the town waz braindead 4a while..... ummmmmmmm. P haz gone completely zilent but Y explained it 2 me. zhe waznt apart of the 6 ppl who ztopped that magical girl zo how doez zhe know all that??

other than that, A haz been very diztant lately. zhe ztraightened her hair- zhe lovez her curly hair! dunno whazzup w that. or anything lately.

6/6

R'z back to being a weirdazz again

R knowz A better than anyone. i azked them whatz wrong with her and they look at me like i juzt threatened to break their phone or zmt. theyre wearing their brotherz clothez now and walking around town acting like theyre better than everyone itz weird azh. love R but they hate their brother dont think thiz iz normal beehaviour??? maychance itz a prank, but worzt comez to worzt at leazt Y iz the zame

on the brightzide Y wantz me 2 proofread zmt zhe made, and in return zhe'll give me more of thoze weird hc paperz!! ill put it heer for now cuz if i dont ill forget cuz my dumb phonez reminderz rnt working

6/7

juzt lozt my bezt friendz 4ever :p

or well ig not 4ever. im young zo idk what i expected, friendzhipz dont lazt forever. id accept thiz if it waznt zo zudden. R'z mental ztate iz pretty fragile, zo them acting weird iznt weird in itzelf. but when zmtz wrong they tell me or A or Y but theyve told no one az far az ik. and A iz legit PERFECT and zhez zo nice but now zhe refuzez to look anyone in the eye

A told me to never talk to her again. what the fuck? did i do zomething wrong?

6/8

ztoryline? what ztoryline?????

i rlly like acting and therez thiz theatre a town over, i was practicing to hopefully get a role and take my mind off of my friendz. itz called the luncheon monologuez and itz preeeeeeeeetty good. ive never heard of it b4 but itz a muzical written thiz year juzt for THAT theatre to perform. i didnt think i was ready to zing infront of ppl other than friendz, zo i waznt gonna audition 4 a main character. i wanna b a zide guy w no zinging partz, juzt a few linez

but the zongz r catchy (in their own bad way) zo i waz zinging in Y'z van while zhe waz writing and zhe zighed zuper loudly. azked her if zhe waz ok. zhe zaid zome odd zhiz

"can you not sing? you're aware that that hobby belongs to others.."

erm weird. zo im like "yah therez like what?? 8 billy ppl on earth? no zhit zilly bill"

zhe getz up again. "no no, in this town. it's taking from their individuality if you have the same defining characteristic, and individuality was large in the previous storyline. i suggest you stop."

"ok well im my own individual?? i dont zee what youre getting at"

i guezz zhe got mad. zhe putz her whole book in my handz and that weight iz back. i leave

6/9

i can hardly ztay awake

uzually itz the oppozite and i cant zleep. but i keep falling azleep throughout the day and everytime i do therez zome vivid cryptic dream. they get more perzonal each time itz freaking me out

6/10

what the HELL

old oomf iz in town now. i remember him being rlly awkward like me, but ig hez cool now, haz a fedora and all. but he ztarted???? zhooting at me?? i dont think zhe even realized it waz me but wow.

Y doeznt like her and zayz 2 not have any mention of her in the book, if i decide to write in it. i didnt even open the book LUL didnt know i waz meant to write in it..... oh, n Y zent me thiz email. im never telling Y that i know him becauze yeezh

6/12

i look around the town and i zee that pretty much everyone haz zomeone

maybe therez a few anamoliez, but if itz the majority that haz to mean zomething. the other copz have friendz, that homelezz guy haz friendz, the mayor haz friendz–my point iz made. everyone haz that one friend they like the mozt, the one theyre clozezt to ykyk their number one. the perzon they'd chooze if they were in a room full of everyone elze in the world. EVERYONE haz one

except for me? yeah i had R and A, but they liked each other more than they liked me. they never hung out w me one on one, but that doeznt matter now they're gone. R iz zo diztant from EVERYONE and A told me to never zpeak to her again. zo now therez no chance of them liking me

therez Y but zhe likez the town more. i get that im embarrazzing to be around, or that im ugly, i cant talk to people well or wtv wtv, but Y would chooze to juzt look at theze random ppl zhe doeznt know rather than look me in the damn eyez. but no! i can't be zad abt that, becauze too many townzpeople are zad! i can't copy their tropez, i can't be inzecure when zomeone elze already iz! becauze that ruinz the variety that makez them zo zpecial! or whatever Y zayz.

maybe im looking too deep into it. ill probz finally read the book zhe gave me tmmrw, ill pozzibly find anzwerz there but ik whatz up. im a weirdo, zo thatz why zhe doeznt like me. im a lozer who can't talk to people off the internet and can't keep friendzhipz for the life of me.

starting tomorrow, i'll be normal. just like everyone else in town. maybe then someone will like me

6/13

these letters are getting very annoying

there's been more i haven't bothered to take photos of. i cant really tell if theyre meant to be insulting or caring? he confuses me

maybe it's stupid but i think theyre meant to be caring. he was one of my friends way before R and A, nice guy just paranoid. farmer, had a bit of an accent, and no internet access. we were polar opposites but we got along great

he had another friend who i mentioned earlier—ill call X—he said we had a lot in common. we were both awkward geeks so i saw where he was coming from. she was also nice, recently got out of the hospital (bullet to the head geez) so we were all hospital buds lol

we were all anxious in our own ways but i never saw either of them as bad people. he practiced these rituals to keep the paranormal away and that was creepy ig but never harmful. X was terrified w just the mention of guns which is reasonable, plus got really shakey when near police officers or crime scenes. i never thought either would hurt a fly

funny. we all HATED the cops. terrible people in our eyes. now i'm the dirty cop, and they're the terrible people. would X be shaking near me?

6/14

i should start documenting my dreams more

the weight on my hands hasnt left and i feel it constantly, its a bothersome. boss asked me to carry a pile of papers to her, but i couldnt. my hands were already full

i woke up from a nap with yet another nightmare. i was in a house, a reallllllyyy big one. not a mansion, it just looked like a normal house. i look up and the ceiling is there, but it seems infinite. doesnt even look like it's connected to the rest of the house. i walked thru the main hallway and i noticed the placements of the walls and rooms gave me a big sense of deja vu

then i realized the house was in the layout of the town. i heard muffled voices in the rooms, probably the other townspeople, but when i entered the rooms no one was there

the rooms were labelled with those titles Y gave the citizens in her papers. out of curiosity i looked for mine and i saw a room with a blank label. i opened the door and it opened up to nothing but a wall, so i kept exploring through the house, except all the labels have disappeared

the house starts shaking and i think its abt to crash down, so i look for rooms to hide in for safety, but all the doors open to nowhere. there's no exit but the house doesnt get destroyed or anything

it distorts and snaps

it's this concrete maze now, there are no more doors just openings into darkness or smt. more spaces have opened up (yet somehow the walls simultaneously closed in? they contorted the most), there are areas that look like closets but when i walked inside them there's nothing but the faint smell of something buried despite nothing being there

even though its all distorted into some brutalist labyrinth the layout of the town is still there. dream me needed to figure out what was happening ig, because she searched every room, every maze and took note on her arms of everything. the rooms are bare and empty and cold, but somehow i knew which room was who's, even rooms of those i've never heard or seen before

after a while, i found where Y's van would be parked if this were the actual town. instead of a room or a closet, there's a massive staircase leading down. i dropped my headphones in and heard no sound

i walk down the staircase and that's what a good chunk of the nightmare is. i went down this staircase that constantly changed direction, shape, color, size, planes and all that just hoping my answers are at the bottom

i never arrived. it goes completely dark. the stairs are gone. all that's left is the weight on my hands

but this is my time to be normal, so when i wake up i go to that cafe restaurant thing nearby and i get a drink - grande vanilla coffee based whole milk frappuccino with whipped cream on top, regular blend. just like Y orders it

6/15

i read a few pages of that book finally

i don't know what to say besides holy shit

6/25

been ten days huh

thought i was getting more consistent w these entries…. i shut the book right after reading a passage abt what happened to P (at least i think its abt P)

i dont think these are Y's weird RPF stories anymore because it includes when he gets back and sees me, and the argument he had w with my boss, and how does she know that? im confused

well i got some new clothes, threw out the headphones and brushed my hair for once, improvement!! its weird (for me at least) but i went outside just for a walk. maybe id get the homeless guy some food? hes kind, and some of the other normal ppl in town do the same

so as im walking, A's cousin comes up to me. crap. he asks me if A is okay, since i was her best friend—haha—when she was nice and happy. he keeps talking but i don't hear any of what he's saying. i can't look him in the eyes or even at his face

all i see is a terrible, terrible man who needs to be jailed. all the words i read float through my head; memory, burns, bows, etc etc more and more

how r ppl fine with him walking around? yes i liked messing with him when he was a little weirdo, but he leaned towards violence a lot and he was scary. now i know what he's done. he burns P's face off, harasses R, KILLS SOMEBODY and walks away from his problems and takes a vacation. P couldnt even get enough money to get an amputation, he had to do it himself. he's depressed and can't leave his apartment and it's all because of that TORTURER and people are just OKAY? he's able to walk the streets NORMALLY?

i definitely froze right there, cuz my body randomly jolts back and he was walking away. i ran to the police station, i tell my boss the terrible things he's done and she says one word

"evidence?"

what an idiot

i tell her about P and that ZAIN'S the reason he's like that and she looks at me like i'm insane. i'm not insane, he was. he is

6/26

evidence

i went to P's apartment, knocked on the door and he didn't answer. he's in there, i heard a mumble but he doesn't open up

i ask "what's the deal with zain?" or whatever i said. he stays silent

i need to know more

6/27

good people

A1 is a great guy. very funny. i tried telling him zain is a horrible guy n i don't think he got it... buuuuuuut he'll see, once i get zain in JAIL!!! now that i have the book i can get ALL the bad people in jail! wow wowwwwwww wow

i need to find good shampoo brands because i forgot how to take care of longer hair, it's down to the middle of my neck now. all the other girls have really long hair so i'll aim to have it be like the average

6/28

tabbing the book

havent read pages besides the one for P. i just see the titles, cross them out and put the names of the people i know the pages belong to. i put tabs for ppl ik and ppl idk, plus some for evidence of zain being a horrid guy

getting my life back on track…. im happy. i got irrationally mad at Y in early entries but now im thankful. with the book all these bad people can be punished. take that X, cops ARE working hard!

6/30

what a joke

i've been collecting evidence of zain's wrongdoings – i go to his house, say i left smt there from old hangouts, and go looking for clues. his house is REALLY fricking dirty. well i mean it isnt HIS but im not gonna go to a mansion owned by the worst guy on earth to confront a blood sucking "vampire". btw, vampires? no matter what Y writes i dont think those are real.. i'm not like HIM. either way im not talking to her shes spooky

so get this. i present the evidence to my fellow cops, ESPECIALLY putting focus on my boss. and she "says" (she never says much) it's all in my head. what!? i show her all the dna left by P there, i show her the tools he used and the chemicals he spilt and the PAGES. the pages are fact! i tell her they're written by Y, but she doesn't know who that is. so i refer to her as uhh the lady in white cuz yk shes all dressed pretty in white. she gives me a look and says all Y says is bull. no???? i flip through the pages, find something about my boss, and read a sentence about some lovey dovey stuff (eWWw). she tells me to f off and go on break

rude. maybe the police ARE as crappy as i remember

7/1

leverage

just in case my coworkers dont believe me again, i'm gonna do some research on THEM. maybe dig up some stuff to blackmail em with hehe.. not really tho blackmail is illegal. but hey imma cop i can do whatever. i was looking up the school A1 went to and ig he noticed but he thought i was doing it for the giggles so im safe

teachers say all that crap about permanent records.. i don't have one. never went to school. i definitely missed out on a lot, i'm not rlly that smart. maybe that's why i don't fit in, i never made friends in school. before she frickin ditched me, A was learning about how education is like important or whatever. cool stuff.

if i went to school, i'd take criminology classes. A tells me her school has a mythology class. i'd take that too, that'd be swag.... X dropped out in elementary. he was bullied rlly badly so thats y. maybe im better off not being in school then?? id get the crap bullied out of me. and i cant really defend myself or fight back like

7/2

what do you mean A doesnt care about me? we've been friends just as long as R's been friends w her, she's so nice, i thought she was the only person in town who had room in her heart for EVERYONE. she only cares about R. not zain, not Y, not me. why not me? was i just that weird? but NO she's buddy buddy with the homeless guy! who ALSO has skeletons in his closet (havent read anything on him yet tho).

i'm just DOOMED to have nobody like me, right? is that it? A leaves, R leaves, Y is acting weird and my coworkers are looking at me like i'm crazy. i've been nice, i've done my best to take care of criminals and i always apologize if i'm teasing ppl and i don't smoke or do drugs or steal or fight. the only guy who actually likes me is a KILLER and shouldn't even be in my life. "i want you to stay safe" he says right before chopping my friends neck right infront of me.

A was a good, good person. but i guess she's not. why would she hide this from me? we're supposed to be best friends. best friends normally like their partners better, right? maybe i'd excuse A feeling nothing towards me and everything towards R if SHE TOLD ME. maybe she wouldn't yk, BE A CRIMINAL if she told any of us this stuff. a criminal? seriously wth?? she should be in JAIL right now. shes been breaking into houses, lying to her "loved" ones, being a crappy person and having the AUDACITY to think she's above everyone? she's BENEATH everyone. you can't just feel nothing towards all these people who've loved you since you stepped in town.

ykw? FUCK YOU AZANI. i thought you were someone i could talk to, but no. i can feel indifferent towards you too. actually i do. you're a criminal, i'm a cop. you don't want me talking to you? okay, you'll be talking to nobody in your jail cell.

i'm so pissed rn

7/4

calmed down a bit RAAAH

i'm trying to get my mind off azani. a few days earlier, A1 invited me to the bar. my reasoning? i'm curious, which is what i told him. i guess i wasn't lying. i need to cover all the bases to get the info i need on my coworkers JUSTINCASE they leave me like R and azani

tonight was the night and i'm at the bar with A1. i'm a kid, n only adults are allowed there. except for REALLY young kids lul? there was the mayor and his oomf. that scary lady was there too, i'm not really sure how old she is but tbh i thought she was my age. there's a fat veil covering her face so my guess was as good as anyone else's.

X is there. she's a bartender. i forgot abt that. he was talking to that scammer guy, and umm i see that she isn't a prude anymore. yeesh. she was also talking to Y. wow, one person to flirt w wasnt enough huh? Y hates X, i know that.. yeaahh, that email.. i steered clear. i just stood near A1 and waited to see what happens. adults do cool stuff, right?

there's two famous people there – R's disgusting brother and LITERALLY HELA. i have no idea how A1 keeps calm, he says he dgaf. he's just cool soo that advice didn't help. i tried acting cool like him but i can't really do that. Y walks away from X, and i wave hi, except she doesn't even acknowledge me. she walks somewhere relatively empty to write, so ig she doesnt wanna be near anyone. scammer guy runs to the bathroom so i decide to do a funny, perchance get a laugh out of A1 (he's hard to impress imo)

i go up there, and X notices. asks me what i want.

it's been long. he's in this vintage getup. when i knew her, she just wore t shirts and whatever pants he was provided with. now there's a suit and a bowtie, and suspenders and a long cigarette holder in her hands.

i stare for a while. i forget what i was going to say.

"..you gonna get a drink, or..?"

it HAS been that long.

"yeah, give me.." i STARTED to say, tho i realize that my voice hasn't changed since i was 8. i clear my throat and get my voice as deeeep as possible. "gimme a gallon of vodka."

i know she needs assistance, esp w stuff that isnt just right there, so he calls for her uncle and we wait. i ask if i can use mouse pay but no one laughs :( i look around and see my boss, Y, famous people, that scary lady, and A1. X has been in jail before and from what i overheard during his time there, neither A1 or X like each other that much. but i like them both.. so.. idk. i don't wanna be mean to X but i don't want A1 to think i'm a traitor to the cops or whatever. do i even WANT to start a conversation with X?

but X starts anyway. "who are you?"

ummmm i didn't rlly think of a sentence beyond the vodka thing. i say i'm new in town and the conversation ends there.

i get my vodka, run over to A1 and he dares me to chug it. i've had LOTS of alcohol b4… it was out on the kitchen table of my house, open and ready for someone to drink, so i drank. i drank a lot. then i got sent to the psych ward lul.. haters. this guy asked me what i was there for and saying i drank a crap tonna alcohol is embarrassing so i said i killed a man as a joke and i'm getting off topic here

i get ready to drink, it's already spilling into my mouth and oh. there's my boss. i stop and try to swallow it down but it really it hurts. it burns a little so i play it off. and my boss holds a gun up to me

taco bout unneccessary. idk what THAT was for. she wants the vodka so i give it to her. and she chugs it allllllll down. im not sure how she managed. it hurts a lot. like, it's supposed to be tasteless, but when it touched my tongue it felt really hot? it wasn't spicy but it sizzled sm and my mouth still hurts. i just stand there. i look at my boss. she looks at me, and wipes the vodka from her mouth. she lifts up her gun, aims

and she shoots someone.

and she shoots again.

now everyone is either too drunk to realize what's happening, leaving or hiding. A1 goes to hide in the bathroom, i'm too scared to move and Y leaves. X is ducking behind whatever the bar table thing is called – and gosh. guns and cops. X's least favorite thing, he was probably having a panic attack except i was frozen when i could've helped. i've helped her through those before. should i have done something? i should've.

she asks who else she should shoot and people are ANSWERING? not the time to be funny?? people are getting hurt and shot at and they crack jokes. i saw a kid get shot in the leg. more bullets get shot and i rat out where A1 is – what a friend i am. i'm TERRIFIED you would be too so i GET OUT. i don't feel safe in the police station. i know she was drunk but when you're drunk, your actions and thoughts don't come out of nowhere. my boss, myllix, is who i should be reading about next..... riiiiiiight after i get more info on zain.

i'm a cop for cod sakes why didn't i do anything?? i'm a coward, that's why. sorry A1. sorry X. sorry kid who got shot. not rlly sorry R's brother. i'll try to pay them back.. i'll make sure myllix gets what she deserves for doing that stuff. A1 must think i'm a wimp and a loser for doing nothing